i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
