he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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