He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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