I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
