Small penises have feelings too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
