I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
