As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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