What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
