what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
