he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
