You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
