We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
