Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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