i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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