I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
