i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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