i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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