I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
