Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
