I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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