wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
