3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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