he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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