I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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