haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
