hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
