I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
