oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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