Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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