new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
