there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
