I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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