She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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