I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have tasted many bathrooms
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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