By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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