i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
