I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
