I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We got so high we made milksteak
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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