Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
