This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
