i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
