she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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