she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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