Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
