the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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