Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
