She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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