Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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