Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
