Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize