she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
