it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
