i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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