i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
