the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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