The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
