38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
