Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
