Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
