I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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