You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
