you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
